By A Simple Citizen
Ladies and gentlemen, clear the benches, silence the mikes, and bow your heads in reverence. The Parliament of India has just witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime scholarly masterclass from none other than Shri Nishikant Dubey — self-certified historian, time-traveller extraordinaire, and the man whose grasp of facts is so firm it slips right through his fingers like sand from a WhatsApp forward.
In a voice trembling with the weight of his own genius, the honourable MP from Godda declared to the nation: “For twenty-five years, until 1977, there was no post of Leader of Opposition. When the BJP came to power, we decided that there should be a Leader of the Opposition… There is no history of Congress. The Leader of the Opposition was given by the BJP!”
Oh, what poetic brilliance! What breathtaking audacity! What a glorious middle finger to dusty old records, boring historians, and that pesky thing called “reality”!
Picture this: Jawaharlal Nehru, Lal Bahadur Shastri, Indira Gandhi — all those Congress Prime Ministers were apparently running a solo circus for 25 long years while the opposition sat in the corner playing ludo, waiting for the BJP fairy godmother to wave her trishul and bestow upon them the magical title of “LoP”. Never mind that in December 1969 — yes, 1969, during Congress rule — one Ram Subhag Singh was formally recognised as the Leader of Opposition in the Lok Sabha. Never mind that the Speaker of the House actually announced it. Never mind that the Janata Party (not BJP, which was busy being born in 1980) passed the 1977 Act. In Dubey’s parallel universe, all of that is just Congress propaganda, probably scripted by George Soros during his lunch break.
Dubey’s historical knowledge is so “well-earned” that one suspects he obtained his doctorate from the prestigious Galgotias University of Selective Amnesia, with a minor in Time-Travel Denial. His research methodology? Simple: open WhatsApp, search “Congress = Evil”, forward to self, add “Saar, 100% true”, and deliver it in Parliament with the gravitas of a man revealing the location of the Holy Grail. While he mocks Rahul Gandhi as “mahamurkh” and “compromised”, one is forced to ask: has any single statement from Dubey ever survived contact with Google for more than eleven seconds? The man doesn’t just bend facts — he folds them into origami swans and then claims the swans were always BJP property.
This is not ignorance, dear reader. This is performance art. This is a man so committed to his craft that he will stand in the temple of democracy and confidently proclaim that the sun rises in the west because the BJP invented sunrise in 2014. Every time Dubey opens his mouth, Indian history dies a little, laughs a lot, and then books an appointment with a therapist.
And here is the real punchline — the BJP leadership, those sharp-suited strategists who never miss a trick, not only tolerates this walking Wikipedia vandalism but actively platforms him. They give him the microphone, the TV slots, the WhatsApp forwards, and the silent nod of approval. Why? Because in the grand theatre of polarisation, Dubey is not a liability — he is the star attraction. He is the court jester whose job is to keep the faithful roaring with laughter while the serious business of governance happens backstage. When your own MP can rewrite 25 years of parliamentary history without blushing, you know the party has decided that truth is overrated and entertainment is the new nationalism.
So here we are. A senior parliamentarian whose “historic understanding” makes flat-earthers look like Nobel laureates, openly peddling jokes that would embarrass a Class 7 history project — and the party that claims to be building a “Viksit Bharat” keeps promoting him like he’s the next Chanakya.
If this is the intellectual calibre the BJP chooses to showcase, then the future of Indian democracy is not in doubt. It will be loud, it will be colourful, and it will be hilariously, gloriously, catastrophically ignorant — exactly the way Professor Dubey likes it.
