By Adv. Nishi
Soul is genderless. Gender is a perspective declared by the society. It is a social construct. Beyond the state of being male or female, it refers to the social and cultural difference too.
A sect of persons believe that women are weaker sections, and men being physically stronger than women have the power to dominate women or control a family and women are supposed to be submissive to men. These kind of practices were allowed by women and it became the habit pattern of the society of the millennium to think that women are weaker sections. This thought pattern is to be changed. Every period has an end. Now we are stepping to cross the line of gender discrimination and to reach the period of gender equality. Let’s observe women in sports field. They posses strong body, not by birth but by practice. So weakness is our own creation both mental and physical. Both men and women undergo physical and mental weakness at different stages. Tender age, old age, sickness, disabilities etc. are commonly applicable to both men and women. Disability can occur at any time to anyone. Nobody is exempted from this. It is foolish to say that women are absolutely weaker than men physically. The physical capacity is the one which is built by a person, by oneself and through generations and the same applies to mental capacity.
I would like to say that it would be more comfortable to think about interdependence than independence. Only God can be independent or self dependant, but being humans we are interdependent. When we accept the theory of interdependence, we start accepting and respecting each other.
A sector of women, mostly below poverty level believes that a husband has the right to assault his wife and it is the duty of the wife to tolerate such assaults. Unless such attitude is changed, it is impossible to dream gender equality. Inorder to overcome this we need to inculcate the principles of gender equality from childhood onwards. Awareness to both male and female children is necessary. Even if children are given such awareness we fail because, the ambience they get in their family is contrary to that, and this contrary knowledge and experience that a child undergo leads the child to confusion and slip into a psychological trauma.
The institution of marriage, for centuries were permitting men to dominate their wives and it became the custom or pattern of the society. Marriage should be solemnized only between two persons having mutual acceptance and mutual respect. Only when acceptance and respect in matrimonial life replace adjustments and tolerance, gender equality can be sustained. Offsprings of such couples will become the part of the sector accepting gender equality. Usually a boy child who is trained to respect his mother will always respect the women folk and a girl child who is trained to respect her father will always respect the men folk. So it is important that we need to accept and respect each other and inculcate such elements in a child from its early childhood itself. For this, we need to give awareness to the society as a whole.
A girl child at the age of puberty get its sex education, from her mother or teacher which is taught to her scientifically. But a boy child is not getting that type of primary knowledge, either from his parents or teachers. At the same time he is misguided by his friends with regard to his sexual awareness. Unknowingly the boy children indulge in sexual activities as has been adviced or heard and accept sex as a pleasure. A boy who accepts sex as a pleasure, can never think that he induces pain to a girl if she is raped or molested. Mostly boy children are abused by men as well as women even from their tender age. Studies are to be conducted among boy children. The social construct has become such a way that a girl think sex as an abuse and boy thinks that sex as pleasure. Stepping in this contrary view, our children grow. And we accuse them for the fruits unknowingly we grew in them.
The tutoring of sex education should start from the very beginning of the child hood. It doesn’t mean to educate them with the process of sexual intercourse. And such a teaching cannot start all of a sudden from the age of puberty. Sex education can be given to a child only by a person who is maintaining love, care, attachment consideration and welfare for the child, and that too as per the queries by the child from time to time as age passes. But unfortunately parents lack knowledge in handling sexual doubts put forward by their children from their tender age itself.
In ancient India like Rig Vedic period, women enjoyed high status and were worshipped. They termed it as “Naari Pooja”. As time passed, the women folk were exploited and the privileges enjoyed by women were interpreted by men in various different ways according their whims and fancies. The love, affection and bondage of women to their family were tactfully exploited by men folk for preserving their selfishness, which gradually lead to gender discrimination. Women gradually got engaged in their house hold work and stepped back from their studies. Gradually patriarchy stepped into the joint family system and anarchy ruled over.
It is said that education of women is for the future generation, and the education of men are for their family. “Charity begins at home.” For implementing this slogan, education of women is necessary. It became the duty of women to mould her children as the best citizen, because only a woman can do it to the best, and not a man.
The Indian heritage believed in a slogan of “Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu”. Because the unpleasant feeling undergone by a single living being makes the atmosphere unplesent, which finally get transferred to the society.
Now it is the stage of India that such thoughts of negativeness had spread throughout the country.
Gender equality does’t mean the hierarchy of men over women or women over men. It can be attained only when we shed mutual adjustments and fear for each other and step into mutual acceptance and respect.
Invisible women
We educate our girls from the childhood itself. Dropouts of girl children happen from 5th standards and boy children from 8th to 10th standards in local schools. If we go to a professional college we see women dominate. But when we go to a work place we see male domination. Were do these women disappear. They either get trapped in the comfort of their home and decide to live or work for their family and depend fully on their spouse. When time passess by, their capacity in their profession tapers. At this time most men exploit them or take undue advantage of their wives. On the other hand for the upbringing of children, the role of a woman is inevitable. There should be monitoring systems, for the welfare of women and children. The Women’s Commission and the Child Right Commission are such institutions. It is the duty of such Commissions to check that men and women who accept male dominated culture should not hijack the society. Pre marital counselling, should be made mandatory. Premarital counselling doesn’t mean giving sex education to children of puberty. It should be given one or two months before, to the man and woman who are supposed to get married. We teach to raise our voice for our rights. It is equally important to teach that, rights and duties are correlated. A right can arise only from a duty.
Fluctuation in sex ratio
Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PCPNDT) Act, 1994 is an Act of the Parliament of India enacted to stop female foeticides and arrest the declining sex ratio in India. The Act bans prenatal sex determination. But implementation of this Act is difficult as persons who need to complain keep silence. Kerala is a place where complaints on record are missing. Statistics can work only with records. Off hand study among the people only can reveal the truth of fluctuation in sex ratio.
(The author is a senior advocate practiving based at Thiruvananthapuram)
